My long journey to the UK

As early as 15 year old, I got the thought of going abroad for higher studies. I was encouraged by my brother (Abg De), which introduced me to Edinburgh. However, at that time, I just dreamed  to become a medical doctor. So, in my secret book, I wrote; Edinburgh. UK. Doctor. It was always be in my dream to study in the UK. I was not a brilliant student back then, but I was extremely determined person and still am. Every term, I aimed for straight A’s.  Alhamdulillah, I scored straight A’s in my PMR, but not in SPM. Lucky me, in my exam slip there was no C or D. Just A and B, but, still not smart enough to secure a scholarship. So bye bye UK. Bye bye dream job.

I went to matriculation, managed to get 3.5 above and with my bff Yana, we applied for Royal College of Surgeon in Ireland. Two naive girls, walked miles and miles, chasing taxis and trains, and went to the interview. Alhamdulillah. I got the offer.5 years medical course at RCSI. Again, even though I managed to get the offer letter, I did not get the scholarship. Still. I went to UPM instead. No, I am not taking medical course and that time I realized how shallow my mind back then. I started to fell in love with lab techniques, western blot, cell culture,  I get to know biochemical pathways, genetic, and I just realize, biology is not just being a doctor. It is larger than that. I learnt about life a lot during my undergrad time. I love my course mate. We are still good friends until now.

 Final Year Trip to Genting. :)

 kak Fiza and Hafiz. A good friend of mine.

To cut a long story short, I did my Msc (fully research) at a local university. After 2 years, I finished my labwork, I got a decent job, with a generous pay (Alhamdulillah) when I was writing up my thesis. I still apply for scholarship. But now my dream is bigger, to do a doctorate at UK. I secured the scholarship, two times, and the offer from the university. However, the timing is not suitable. I was still writing up the thesis back then. I was gutted. For the first time in my life, I made up my mind, no more study application. I was tired already. The determination in me was all gone. I just felt secure with what I have. I was  a  lecturer with flexible working hours and I got a decent pay. I finally decide. Yes, this is what I want.  I fell in love with teaching. I was attached to my students, to my colleagues, to my boss. Plus, I am married to a wonderful man. We went to the mosque to listen to kuliyyah every weekend, we have a small but a convenient location home. We went back to hometown every month to visit our parents. I think, life is complete when my Gynae confirmed that I was pregnant. I have not thought about furthering my study, since we decided that time it was my husband turn to further his.

God works in a mysterious way. He wants to tell me that this is what suitable to you. I applied again when my bestie Mien encouraged me. I got fully support from my husband and my Father In Law and we got application results when I was in the labour room, fighting to deliver Muhammad. It is a YES at the right moment. Double joy! Nonetheless, it was full of struggles. I went to BTN when I was 8 month pregnant (it was still amazing though, there were quite a few of my friends were pregnant back then). We took his passport photo when he was 15 day old and fly to UK when Muhammad was 3 month old. He was a fighter like me and my husband .

Now I am here. Struggling. To quote my professor “MSc or PhD, is not the beginning that matters, but how you end it”. 

Till then,

Toodles!